Reality Bites

2013. Here I am, back in California. Life is different, and still familiar. And 30 lbs is back. And so am I.

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Travel and Vacation

The last two weeks have been nonstop travel for me.  Thankfully I love roadtrips.  The first week was spent in Salt Lake City for the Outdoor Retailer summer show.  If you geek out at an REI, than you understand my excitement.  The great thing about the show is that you are surrounded by everything ACTIVE!  Yes, the beer was flowing, but there were also so many opportunities to demo products, become inspired by all the fit people you pass and you walk miles of showroom floor.

After the show I picked up my love at the airport and we spent the week in beautiful Midway, UT where we went hiking and biking in Wasatch State Park and tried paddleboarding at Jordonelle State Park.  Paddleboarding, by the way, is a lot of fun and hard work for your leg muscles.  I highly recommend it.

Amidst all the travel I stopped to reflect on what we were able to do (even at 5,500 feet!) now that me and my love are lighter.  This lifestyle change is working and I never want to go back.  These moments of fun together are so much better than any food and tv program.

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FMM: The Driving Force

I’ve been a little silent lately, but it’s all for good reason.  I’ve been traveling for work and for pleasure, both of which have been very rewarding.  More on my travels in another post.

Since today is Monday, I thought I’d participate in this week’s FMM*:

What is the driving force behind your weight loss?

My mother is the driving force behind my weight loss.  I have watched my mom struggle with food and her weight since as long as I can remember.  My family is healthy sized, but otherwise not overweight.  My mom is obese, diabetic and depressed as a result of her challenges with food and her responses to it.  She managed to live a fairly active life this way, for several decades, however now that she is in her late 60s it has caught up with her.  True to the textbook diabetes and obesity consequences, she has lost most of her vision due to retinal bleeding, cannot walk more than a few steps despite double knee replacements, cannot sleep through the night due to sleep apnea, loses the ability to feel and use her legs, and has chronic pain in her hips and legs.   In general, she is miserable.

Seeing first-hand the consequences of ignoring obesity, I am committed to changing my life.  Obesity is entirely preventable and I do not want to share her fate.  I love my mother and I do what I can to support her.  She has given me a determined spirit, a compassion for people who are hurting, a faith in a God larger than I, and education.  She has also given me a dependency on food and inactivity.  She gave me life and I will live it without extra weight.

How about you?  What is the driving force behind your weight loss?

*If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at Why I Am Fat so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts.

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Finally got my keychain!

I did it!  I lost 10% of my body weight!  After years and years in Weight Watchers, I’ve achieved what I have never achieved before:  my 10% keychain.  Check it out:






For those who don’t know, Weight Watchers awards a keychain when you reach a 10% loss.  For me 10% is also 25 pounds and thus, the award on the right.

I know, it’s a silly award, but it feels good to have it.  I will use my keychain proudly, and all the awards I’ve received from Weight Watchers:

Posted in Victories, Weight Watchers | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Reason #1


In the last few weeks things in my life (job, social, projects, family, etc.) started really picking up and I noticed that it was harder to eat right and exercise.  It’s not that I had overwhelming cravings or feelings of laziness, but certain things demanded the time that I would have spent cooking at home or working out.  Social events especially require quite a bit of planning for them to be successful.  I don’t know if there will ever be a day when I can just show up at a BBQ and not plan ahead to opt for the veggies instead of potato salad, or chicken instead of burgers.

And so, the first reason that I am fat is because I have not allowed myself the time to think through my actions and find the activities and food that will benefit my long-term well-being.  I like how Mike puts it in his post today, making the “time to be honest”.  I spent a lot of my time doing other things.  And in fact, channeling my inner Scarlett O’Hara, I often said to myself, “I’ll worry about it tomorrow”.

Tomorrow is here and this journey takes time.  Time that I would have spent working more hours, shopping, eating restaurant prepared foods, or watching tv.  I’ve lost time and weight so far in this journey.

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FMM: How much weight have you lost?

If you’ve taken part in FMM at alltheweigh then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: How Much Weight Have You Lost?  And what have you gained from losing it?

I’m proud that I have lost exactly 20 pounds so far.  Exactly.

I am also proud that I have lost dozens of hours to exploring the outdoors. 🙂  In fact, for the last six weeks I have climbed a mountain (a small one), finished a 10K, tried (and re-tried, and re-tried) Zumba, and enjoyed beautiful mornings with my love and our pup.

As for gaining, I have new confidence that I can withstand circumstances that challenge me – visits from family, holidays, spontaneity, etc. – and I can see the confidence seeping into other areas of my professional life and creativity.

Now it’s your turn.  How much weight have you lost and what have you gained?

Posted in Reflections | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments

Like a tower of blocks

This past weekend and few days leading up to it have been an emotional roller coaster.  One tiny incident that happened this morning sums it up nicely.

Today was my second go at climbing the Mount Sanitas trail, which I did with my love and his friend.  His friend is an outdoorsy fellow who does a lot of hiking.  Although he wouldn’t consider himself fit, he is certainly more fit than us and above average anywhere else but Boulder.

You should know that Mount Sanitas is a three mile route with elevation gain of 1,200 feet.  Most of the climb is scrambling boulders with occasional points to catch your breath and enjoy the eastern view of the Colorado plains.

During the hike the three of us are making conversation as we sweat and huff and puff up the rocks.  I’m feeling great because 1) I got my butt out of bed before 8am on a Sunday (yeah, I know, we don’t have kids), 2) I barely finished the hike the last time we did it and, 3) this week I celebrated losing 20 pounds.  The friend of my dear husband says, “you should check out that fitness and weight loss thing they have on tv”, and then tried for 5 minutes to remember the name of it for me.

Have you ever played blocks with a three year old? You know how they want you to build a great tower only so they can charge through it like Godzilla?  Yeah.  That was how his comment crushed me today.

I know that he didn’t really think his comment through, or that he has no idea the focus that weight loss and fitness is having in my life right now.  What surprised me was that the comment affected me.  Just when I think I’m making significant progress emotionally, I am reminded that this journey isn’t over.  By far.

So I pick up the blocks and begin to build again.  Today is the beginning of another week and I intend to celebrate again on Wednesday.

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And the result is….

I lost exactly 0.8 lbs!  That means my total weight loss so far is 20 lbs.  I’m thrilled, but I’m exhausted.  Today was a rough day, so I’m going to finish up some work at home and celebrate with a nice, light dinner.

Posted in Victories | Tagged , | 1 Comment


The past six weeks have been great, but I’m nervous for my weigh-in tomorrow. I know I haven’t over-eaten, just at things that were out of my control (like a friend’s BBQ), or some things I don’t normally eat (like toast).

I am hoping for at least a ‘maintain’…but I am only 0.8 pounds away from 20 pounds lost.

Posted in Emotions | Tagged | 2 Comments

Beat the blues #1

Everyone has the weight-loss/lifestyle-change sucks blues.  Next time you get the blues, try this:

Go to the back of your closet and find a pair of pants that you haven’t worn in a while and wear them.  Even if they are a little snug, it’s better than you thought, right?

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